4 months seemed to whiz by so slow fast. It seemed so slow at the time but fast. I can't describe. Texas hasn't changed very much, theres new licenses on cars and I am occassionally surprised by random buildings that seem to pop up out of nowhere. Everything, gratefully, feels unchanged but it feels different because you just went through major experiences. It's as if the world as I knew it stood still as I invisibly transformed. Studying abroad is absolutely amazing and I wish that I could hit the repeat button...like a good movie and then pause or pay more attention to the good parts. Of course, life couldn't let me completely soak in pure happiness, toward the end of my adventure I hit a few rough spots.
Rough spot #1: I lost my passport in Shenzhen, China....15 minutes across the border from Hong Kong.
Mainland China is absolutely ridiculous. I've never hated a country so much in my life. The people there are chaotic, uncivilized, and the cultural shock is beyond comprehendable. China makes me ashamed of my ethnicity. Felicia, Janice, Lars, and I were shopping in Shenzhen for last minute gifts and tailor made goods. In the tailor shop, I bestowed to Felicia and Janice to watch over my purse while I got measured and negotiated with the tailor. Time passes and they decide they were too hungry to wait any longer and leaves the shop and my purse on the ground assuming I would need it to pay. 1 minute later, my purse was gone. I was so angry I was ready to eff someone up. I never lose things. I'm not that irresponsible, and I never would let my own things get stolen. Let's just say the Chinese law enformant are fucking useless. Despicable, corrupt, and useless. 20 of them stood around doing NOTHING while I ran around frantically. They gave excuses like "oh the theives are probably MILES from here by now" Idiots. I had no hesitation to tell them that they are completely useless, stupid, and their attitude is exactly why crime exists and why America is so much much better and China will never EVER come close in my broken Chinese. And yeah I did it. I rubbed my American arrogance in their face. 6 excruciating days later, after much red tape, I finally got to leave China. Tell me why the hell it takes 6 days to go to HK which is supposedly a part of China? The Chinese people are so naive because they never get to truly experience the world and constantly brainwashed by the Chinese government. I couldn't go one day without hearing someone spit on the ground or pee in the streets. Originally, I attributed their barbarian behaviors to the fact that they are a developing country but after visiting other asian countries that are more third-world and see REAL, CIVILIZED people who don't shove others, pee in the street, or spread their discussing germs, or smoke in peoples faces, that I realized that it's not character of a developing country but just the horrendous Chinese society. Sick and ashamed. The good thing about this incident is I got to meet my maternal grandfather's side of the family who treated me extremely well and helped make this incident mildly bearable.
Rough spot #2: Because of my passport being stolen, I missed a final. An 8 hour trip, turned into a 6 day trip that let me to completely miss my final and now my T.A. is threatening an F for not completing paperwork which is difficult as I am currently in the U.S.
Rough spot #3: After the entire fiasco, I was emotionally drained and ready to go home and be with my family and see Snowball who I terribly missed. I come home and I find out that he had passed away a few weeks back and my parents failed to tell me. My heart completely broke. My first dog, my good dog, my baby who was always there for me, running happily to greet me upon every return. The silence in the house breaks my heart. Each time I come back home and there is no bouncy ball of white fluff greeting me breaks my heart. I started 2009 with 2 cute dogs, and by the end of 2009 without any fault to me, I now have 0. RIP Snowball. I miss Cinnamon and Snowball.. :(
Rough spot #3.5: I didn't get an interview offer from L'Oreal. I worked so hard on the application and spent sleepless nights completing my application. L'Oreal was my dream company to work for.
I am trying to be forward looking and optimistic. I am trying to dig deep to find my inner strength to work through these feelings. I'm grateful to have wonderful friends who want to be there for me and help me through my misfortunes. I want the fast forward button to bring me to the part where time has healed these wounds.
I am already down and at rock bottom. Please stop kicking a girl while she's down. I am fully capable of dealing with all these misfortunes individually but it's not nice to pull em all at once.