An in the midst of all of that, somehow I can still ponder about love interests. I change what I want and I change what I want to do about my current situation daily. One day all I want is to be around him and another I can't stand the thought of the uncertainty and pull myself away. I guess I honestly do know better but somehow I can't do what's better. It's a curse. How do you go on doing the "right" thing when in your heart you desire something else? This topic has been dancing in my mind nonstop. Sometimes I'm unsure if I'm just infatuated with the idea of him. Sometimes I'm unsure if I am just lonely. Sometimes I'm unsure if I am succumbing to my real emotions or resisting to fall. Sometimes I'm unsure if I'm making up excuses to make me feel better about what I can't have.
I suppose that's why it's called a crush. In the end, that's all you're left with. The paradox of being so close yet so far away. All you can do is watch something you almost have slip away from your grasp. Oh, the agony of unrequited like [love]. Sing it Keyshia Cole..
Focus, Erica, Focus!